Life
Dear Appa ,
December 10 , 2013 .This day shouldn't have come in my life .You should not have gone . You should not have departed us .So wrong . Yes , I agree. Birth and death are natural , unavoidable stuffs . But this one .We just cant digest . Taking away a soul that changed lots of people , loved lots of friends is simply selfish . That soul made me understand what is life . That soul taught me how to live , love , care , study . Your life taught me what is life . And now the soul not anymore bonded with the body , I miss it . You left your wife who lived her whole life for you , with you . You left your two diamonds who understood stuffs from you . You left your friends , your soulmates who solemnly attended your funeral . Life is about birth to death . And I remember well you always wanted that part to be done perfect . Doing it perfect doesn't mean you must be another Mahatma Gandhi or Abdul Kalam .And your life beautified lots and lots of souls in the world . Your talks and your life must have changed all those stone hearted friends of you . I wonder if that was the purpose of Almighty to send you here and give you a wonderful wife and children .You have told each and every misery you faced in your childhood . We know what your dad did to you and what you did to us . And we know how hard was your road to the current position . And you just gave every single pleasure to us . You gave complete freedom . Thank god we never misused that . You never ever interrupted in others freedom . You were just like our friend , our well wisher whose only goal is to love us . We know what will be the result if your decisions/works are being interrupted . You dont do that either . You read books . Lots of books .Books empowering Positive attitude . And each and every thing that you understand from those books , you share with us . Those worthful talks are responsible for us to be here , in this state . Your matured response to every single problem that came into your way ,carved us a lot . You beleived /loved everyone you talk with. That was your success as well as your failure . You were our Karnan , Pari Vallal in reality . Lending loans and not caring about the return . Because your life was only about making love and not making money .When your wife started to point it you were like "dont care" and you were strong in what you believe . You drew your life by yourself . That inspired me as well as annoyed me in certain circumstances . You were a die hard Gandhian . And you taught us Gandhism . I think he played a very important part in your life . You were a genius in whatever field you choose . Be it in banking or business or photography or drawing . You did everything sincerely that made ways to success .You showcased your love for me Srimu and mom each and every second . You always cared for others ,forgetting that you have your own life to be lived . Because making others' lives happy was your life , your policy .
Memories are more painful than anything in this world . And I have millions of memories to be cherished . Facing the truth that you have departed us we are dead along with you . We are just tying to live with that bitter truth , your framed photograph and lots and lots of memories . I know tears only show out our emotions . Nothing is going to change just by shedding tears . And now we both live for our mom and she lives for us . Forget about us .We hardly lived 20 odd years with you . But she ? She faced her best as well as the worst parts along with you . Do you think she lives happily ? Never . I cry alone without their knowldege . They do the same individually . Think about that sweet daughter you longed for .With lots of love you named her Srimukhee . And she just pretends that everthing is fine and smiles outside . Deep inside her heart she doesn't live the way what others think . And mom ? She tries to forget everything with that idiotic TV box . When things are not gonna be changed even by that so called GOD ( Ayyappa or Muruga or Jesus or whatever ) , how could that idiotic box can change things ? And me ? Each and every day I wish you were there to accompany me in my lunch like you used to do .I do eat lunch . But without a soul to accompany me. I wish you were there when I got my 12th results . I wish you to say each and everyone you see " My son have got so and so .. He have made his sister and mom feel proud " .You did the same thing in my 10th . I wish you are right here for my college counselling . I wish you to call me me "motta baduva " . I wish you to be with me in each and every stage of my life . Friends and relatives around me tried to convince me saying you are here . But my age or maturity is not ready to accept the truth . Great people used to tell not to think about the past. Completely agreed . But those memories never allow me to forget you . Crying out loud doesnt make sense anymore . It is just a temporary relief . I will definitely try to accept the truth
Gone are the days we played carrom together happily . Gone are the days I used to call you Appa . Gone are the days you called your gem "Kuttigal" . Gone are the days we used to roam places around Chennai in Splendor . Gone are the days you hugged me tightly with a lovable kiss on the cheeks every night. Gone are the days we lived happily as a family . Gone are the days you asked us different types of general knowledge questions . Gone are the days you talked about musical raagas . Gone are the days you made us watch Kamal , Balachander movies ..Ultimately happiness is completely gone
I just want this blog to be reached to you some how . I dont know how . I just want it to be read by that soul . And you have left all your responsibilities right on my shoulder . I promise you that I would be a replica of Mr.Balasubramanian .In future I may have a son like you. Someday some how I am gonna die . Surely he wont miss me the way I miss you . Sometimes RIP would have meant Return IF Possible . This life was given by you to me and I promise you that I would understand the purpose and live it in a way you have imagined
This unpredicatble incident hit me so hard that eventually gained a lot of maturity in me at this tender 17 . Hoping that one day life turns the way we dream of we are pursuing . And I know you are watching your Rayare , Motta Baduva , Kuttigal somewhere ,somehow . Keep watching . And please give advices through good souls living out here . And with your departure you left me a huge responsibility . At your teen age you took up responsibilities of your family .Now its my turn . I promise you to stand by my family (your family) .
I have never showcased my love towards you .Now with this letter I have brought only a 10 percent of it . So please do read this one somehow . With all your photos , poems , drawings , memories we are trying to harvest your presence . Wish us good luck through our tough road . We may go into the highest position or we may turn inti beggars . Things may change . But remember . One thing will never change - WE WONT STOP MISSING AND LOVING YOU
With lots of luvable tears ,
Shravan ...
December 10 , 2013 .This day shouldn't have come in my life .You should not have gone . You should not have departed us .So wrong . Yes , I agree. Birth and death are natural , unavoidable stuffs . But this one .We just cant digest . Taking away a soul that changed lots of people , loved lots of friends is simply selfish . That soul made me understand what is life . That soul taught me how to live , love , care , study . Your life taught me what is life . And now the soul not anymore bonded with the body , I miss it . You left your wife who lived her whole life for you , with you . You left your two diamonds who understood stuffs from you . You left your friends , your soulmates who solemnly attended your funeral . Life is about birth to death . And I remember well you always wanted that part to be done perfect . Doing it perfect doesn't mean you must be another Mahatma Gandhi or Abdul Kalam .And your life beautified lots and lots of souls in the world . Your talks and your life must have changed all those stone hearted friends of you . I wonder if that was the purpose of Almighty to send you here and give you a wonderful wife and children .You have told each and every misery you faced in your childhood . We know what your dad did to you and what you did to us . And we know how hard was your road to the current position . And you just gave every single pleasure to us . You gave complete freedom . Thank god we never misused that . You never ever interrupted in others freedom . You were just like our friend , our well wisher whose only goal is to love us . We know what will be the result if your decisions/works are being interrupted . You dont do that either . You read books . Lots of books .Books empowering Positive attitude . And each and every thing that you understand from those books , you share with us . Those worthful talks are responsible for us to be here , in this state . Your matured response to every single problem that came into your way ,carved us a lot . You beleived /loved everyone you talk with. That was your success as well as your failure . You were our Karnan , Pari Vallal in reality . Lending loans and not caring about the return . Because your life was only about making love and not making money .When your wife started to point it you were like "dont care" and you were strong in what you believe . You drew your life by yourself . That inspired me as well as annoyed me in certain circumstances . You were a die hard Gandhian . And you taught us Gandhism . I think he played a very important part in your life . You were a genius in whatever field you choose . Be it in banking or business or photography or drawing . You did everything sincerely that made ways to success .You showcased your love for me Srimu and mom each and every second . You always cared for others ,forgetting that you have your own life to be lived . Because making others' lives happy was your life , your policy .
Memories are more painful than anything in this world . And I have millions of memories to be cherished . Facing the truth that you have departed us we are dead along with you . We are just tying to live with that bitter truth , your framed photograph and lots and lots of memories . I know tears only show out our emotions . Nothing is going to change just by shedding tears . And now we both live for our mom and she lives for us . Forget about us .We hardly lived 20 odd years with you . But she ? She faced her best as well as the worst parts along with you . Do you think she lives happily ? Never . I cry alone without their knowldege . They do the same individually . Think about that sweet daughter you longed for .With lots of love you named her Srimukhee . And she just pretends that everthing is fine and smiles outside . Deep inside her heart she doesn't live the way what others think . And mom ? She tries to forget everything with that idiotic TV box . When things are not gonna be changed even by that so called GOD ( Ayyappa or Muruga or Jesus or whatever ) , how could that idiotic box can change things ? And me ? Each and every day I wish you were there to accompany me in my lunch like you used to do .I do eat lunch . But without a soul to accompany me. I wish you were there when I got my 12th results . I wish you to say each and everyone you see " My son have got so and so .. He have made his sister and mom feel proud " .You did the same thing in my 10th . I wish you are right here for my college counselling . I wish you to call me me "motta baduva " . I wish you to be with me in each and every stage of my life . Friends and relatives around me tried to convince me saying you are here . But my age or maturity is not ready to accept the truth . Great people used to tell not to think about the past. Completely agreed . But those memories never allow me to forget you . Crying out loud doesnt make sense anymore . It is just a temporary relief . I will definitely try to accept the truth
Gone are the days we played carrom together happily . Gone are the days I used to call you Appa . Gone are the days you called your gem "Kuttigal" . Gone are the days we used to roam places around Chennai in Splendor . Gone are the days you hugged me tightly with a lovable kiss on the cheeks every night. Gone are the days we lived happily as a family . Gone are the days you asked us different types of general knowledge questions . Gone are the days you talked about musical raagas . Gone are the days you made us watch Kamal , Balachander movies ..Ultimately happiness is completely gone
I just want this blog to be reached to you some how . I dont know how . I just want it to be read by that soul . And you have left all your responsibilities right on my shoulder . I promise you that I would be a replica of Mr.Balasubramanian .In future I may have a son like you. Someday some how I am gonna die . Surely he wont miss me the way I miss you . Sometimes RIP would have meant Return IF Possible . This life was given by you to me and I promise you that I would understand the purpose and live it in a way you have imagined
This unpredicatble incident hit me so hard that eventually gained a lot of maturity in me at this tender 17 . Hoping that one day life turns the way we dream of we are pursuing . And I know you are watching your Rayare , Motta Baduva , Kuttigal somewhere ,somehow . Keep watching . And please give advices through good souls living out here . And with your departure you left me a huge responsibility . At your teen age you took up responsibilities of your family .Now its my turn . I promise you to stand by my family (your family) .
I have never showcased my love towards you .Now with this letter I have brought only a 10 percent of it . So please do read this one somehow . With all your photos , poems , drawings , memories we are trying to harvest your presence . Wish us good luck through our tough road . We may go into the highest position or we may turn inti beggars . Things may change . But remember . One thing will never change - WE WONT STOP MISSING AND LOVING YOU
With lots of luvable tears ,
Shravan ...
Oh my God. This blog has left me in tears. So very touching. I am sure ur dad is reading this, and he would feel proud of having got such a dutiful son. Way to go Shravan. Keep going. Wishing you all success.
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